የወሲብ ሱስ (Sex Addiction)

 

sex-addiction2ብዛቻችን ሱስ ሱባ የምናያይዛ ከሲጋራ ከመጠጥና ከመሣሰሉት ጋር ብቻ ነው፡፡ ከዚያ ባለፈ የተለያዩ የአደነዛዥ ዕፆችን ተጠቃሚነት ሱስ በዋናነትየሚጠቀስ ሱስ ነው፡፡ ከዚያ በተለየ ወሲብንስ ብናይ ለመሆኑ የወሲብ ሱስ አለው? ብለን ብንጠይቅ መልሳችን አንድና አንድ ነው እሱም “አዎ!የወሲብ ሱስ አለው፡፡” ነው፡፡ ልክ እንደ ሲጋራ፣ እንደ አልክሆል፣ ጫት አሊያም ቁማር መጫወት ከመጠን ሲያልፍ እና ግለሰቡ ራሱን መቆጣጠርሲያቅተው ሱስ ሆነበት እንደምንለው ሁሉ ወሲባዊነት ከገደቡ በላ አልፎ አዕምሮንና ድርጊትን የሚቆጣጠርበት ደረጃ ላይ ሲደርስ የወሲብ ሱሰኝነትደረጃ ላይ ሲደርስ የወሲብ ሱሰኝነት ብለን እንጠራዋን፡፡

 

ይሄም ሱስ በማህበረሰቡ ላይ በሰፊው የተንሰራፋና ሁሉም ሰው በልቡ እያወቀው ከሌሎቹ የሱስ ዓይነቶች ባነሰ እውቅና የሚሠጠው እና እንደቀልድ ተደርጎ የሚወራ ጉዳይ ነው፡፡ ይህ የሴሰኝነት ባህሪ በተለያየ መንገድ ሊገደጋጋሚ የፖርኖግራፊ ምስል እና ቪዲዮዎችን በመመልከት፣ ከተለያዩሰዎች ጋር ግንኙነት በመፈጸም ፣ ወደ ሴተኛ አዳሪዎች አብዝቶ በመሄድ፣ ስለ ወሲብ በብዛት  በማሰብ እንዲሁም በማውራት እና በተደጋጋሚ ወሲብንበመፈጸም ሊሆን ይችላል፡፡

 

ለመሆኑ የወሲብ ሱስ ምንድነው ?

 

ወሲብ ማለት ከሰው ልጅ ተፈጥሮአዊ ስሜቶች መካከል ዋነኛው ሲሆን፣ በአግባቡሲጠቀሙበት ደግሞ ትውልድን ከመተካት ባሻገር ታላቅ የሆነ ደስታን የሚሰጥ ስሜትነው፡፡ ይኸውም ማንኛውም ነገር ከመጠን በላ ሲበዛም ሆነ ከሚገባው መጠን ሲያንስችግር እንደሚያስከትለው ሁሉ ወሲባዊ ባህሪይም ከመጠን ሲያንስም ሆነ ከመጠን በላይሲያልፍ የግለሰቡን ጤንነት እና ማህበራዊ ኑሮ ያቃውሳል፡፡ ሴሰኝነት ከሃሳ ወደ ድርጊትየሚሸጋገር ባሪ ነው፡፡ ይህም ባህሪይ በአንድ ስው አዕምሮ ውስጥ ገዥ ሲሆን፣ መላውየህይወት ኃይሉ ልቅ በሆኑ የወሲብ ሃሳቦች ተሞልቶ ወደ ድርጊት ሲወጣ ሰዎችገንዘባቸውን ፣ ጉልበታቸውን፣ ጊዜያቸውን ፣ እውቀታቸውን፣ ኃላፊነታቸውንናተፈጥሮሯቸውን ሳይቀር ልቅ ለሆነ የወሲብ ስሜታቸው ማርኪያ ይጠቀሙበታል፡፡በአብዛኛው ከተቃራኒጾታዎች ጋር ያላቸው ግንኙነትና ሃሳብም ወደ ወሲብ ስሜት ዝቅይላል፡፡

 

የወሲብ ሱሰኝነት በግለሰቡ ላይ በሚያደርሰው አካላዊ እና ስነ-ልቦናዊ ጉዳት፣ ኢኮኖሚያዊ ቀውስ ማበራዊ ግንኙነት በመላሸት እንዲሁምበሚፈጠረው ገለልተኝነት ከሌሎች ሱሶች ጋ ተመሳሳይ ሲያደርገው የሚለይበት ደግሞ ሳይጫወትም ሆነ አልክሆል ሳይጠጣ መኖር የሚቻል ሲሆንወሲብ መፈጸምን ግን የሰው ልጅ ተፈጥሯዊ ባህሪ አንዱ አካል በመሆኑ የተነሣ እስከነአካቴው ይቅር የሚሉት አይደለም፡፡

 

በእርግጥ አንዳንድ ሰዎች በሁኔታዎች ተገደውም ሆነ በራሳቸው ምርጫ ከወሲባዊ ባህሪይ ርቀው ሊኖሩ ይችላሉ፡፡ ጤናማ የሆነ ሰው ግን ወሲባዊፍላጎት ይኖረዋል፡፡ እንዳውም የወሲብ ፍላጎት አለመኖር ወይም መቀነስ በራሱ ችግር ነው፡፡

 

ወሲባዊ ሱስ ማለት እየጨመረ የሚሄድ ተደጋጋሚ በሆነ የወሲብ ሃሳብ እና ድርጊት የሚገለጥ ስነ-ልቦናዊ ጥገኝነት ነው፡፡ ለአንዳንድ የወሲብ ሱሰኞችይሄ ችግር በተደጋጋሚ ፖርኖግራፊ ከመመልከት፣ ወሲብ ከመፈፀም ወይም በተደጋጋሚ ወሲብ መፈፀም ከመፈለግ ላያልፍ ይችላል፡፡ ይሄ ጥገኝነትደግሞ ከሌሎች ምክንያቶች ጋር ተደማምሮ ከፍተኛ የአዕምሮ ቀውስ ሲያስከትልና ወደ አደገኛ የሆነ ከራስም አልፎ ሌሎችን ሰዎች ወደ ሚጎዳእንደአስገድዶ መድፈር በህፃናት ላይ ወሲባዊ ጥቃትን መፈፀምና ወደ መሳሰሉት ድርጊት ሊሸጋገር ይችላል፡፡

 

ሁሉንም ባህሪያት አንድ የሚያደርጋቸው ሁሉም የሚፈፁሙት በድብቅ ስለሚሆን በቅርበት ባሉ ሰዎች ሁሉ የመታወቅ ዕድሉ በጣም ጠባብ ነው፡፡

 

በዚህ ሱስ ውስጥ የሚገኝ ሰው አዕምሮው ልቅ የሆነ ወሲብን መፈፀም ምግብን እንደመመገብ አስፈላጊ እንደሆነ ስለሚቀበለው አብዛኛውን ጊዜውንከወሲብ ጋር በተያያዙ ሀሳቦች እና ድርጊቶች ይወጠራል፡፡ እንዲሁም እነዚህ ሰዎች ወሲብ መፈፀም ትልቁ የእርካታ ምንጫቸው እንደሆነ ቢያስቡምየተቃራኒ ጾታ ግንኙነታቸው ፍቅር የጎደለው እና እንደ መጠቀሚያ ቁስነት የመቁጠር ያህል ነው፡፡ ወሲባዊ ስሜታቸውም በሚነሳሳበትም ጊዜራሳቸውን አደጋ ውስጥ በሚከት ሁኔታ ውስጥ ሊገቡ ይችላሉ፡፡ በዚህም የተነሣ ከግብረ-ሥጋ ግንኙነት በሚመጡ በሽዎች የመያዛቸው ዕድል ሰፊነው፡፡

 

እንዲሁም በወሲብ ሱስ የተጠመዱ ሰዎች ወሲብን እርካታን ለማግኘት ብቻ ሳይሆን ከመጥፎ ስት ለመሸሽ፣ ፍርሃትንና ጭንቀትን ለማስወገድ እንደመደበቂያነት ሲገለገሉበት ይታያሉ፡፡ ድርጊቱን ከፈፀሙ በኋላ ግን በአብዛኞቹ የማዘን እና የመፀፀት ስሜት ስለሚከተልባቸው ዳግመኛ ላለመፈፀምቃል ይገባሉ፡፡ ነገር ግን ከጥቂት ጊዜ በኋላ በተመሳሳይ ሁኔታ ውስጥ ራሳቸውን መልሰው ያገኙታል፡፡

 

በትዳር ሕይወት አሊያም ደግሞ በፍቅር ግንኙነቶች ውስጥ ያሉ ሴሰኞች ከፍቅረኞቻቸው ውጭ ከተለያ ሰዎች ጋር ወሲብ ስለሚፈፅሙ የተቃራኒ ጾታግንኙነታቸው ሊበላሽ ይችላል፡፡ እንዲሁም ደግሞ ከትዳር አጋሮቻቸው ጋር በሚኖራቸው የወሲብ ግንኙነት አለመጣጣም ሊኖር ስለሚችልከሚወዱት ሰው ጋር ለመያየት ሊፈጠር ይችላል፡፡ በተጨማሪም ከዚህ ባሕሪይ ጋር በተያያዘ በሥራ ገበታ ኃላፊነትን አለመወጣት እና ያልተገባባሕሪይን ስለሚያሳዩ በሥራ ሕይወታቸው ውጤታማ ሳይሆኑ ይቀራሉ፡፡

 

የወሲብ ሱስ መገለጫዎችከተለያዩ ሰዎች ጋር ወሲብ መፈፀም ወይንም መፈለግ ከሌሎች ጉዳዮች ላይ ንቁ ተሳትፎ ማድረግ ረጅም ጊዜን የወሲብፍጎትን ለሟሟላት በሚደረጉ ጥረቶች ማሳለፍ ለወሲብ ቅድሚያ በመስጠት ሌሎች በማህበረሰቡ የተሰጡ የሥራ፣ የቤተሰብ እና የትዳር ኃላፊነቶችንችላ ማለት ተመሳሳይ የሆነ ወሲባዊ እርካታን ለማግኘት ይበልጥ ለመጨመር መገደድ በተደጋጋሚ ሁኔታ ወሲብን መፈጸም ከሰዎች ጋር የሚመሠረቱግንኙነቶች በቀዳነት በወሲብ ላይ ያተኮሩ መሆን ወሲባዊ ባህሪን ሳያስታግሱ ሲቀሩ የባህሪ መለዋወጥ (መቆጣት፣ መነጫነጭ..)

 

 

 

መንስኤው መንድነው?

 

የወሲብ ሱሰኝነት የተለያዩ መንስኤዎች በአንድ ላይ ተዳምረው የሚያመጡት ችግር ነው፡፡ከዚህም ውስጥ በቀዳሚነት ሊጠቀስ የሚችለው በልጅነት አስተዳደግ ወቅት የሚፈጠሩ እናከወሲብ ጋር የተያያዙ ክስተቶች መፈጠር ነው፡፡ በተለይ በልጅነት መደፈር ወይም ደግሞከትክክለኛው ዕድሜ ቀደም ብሎ የሚከሰቱ ወሲባዊ ልምምዶች ያንን ግለሰብ በቀሪ ህይወቱከወሲብ ጋር የተያያዘ ጥብቅ ቁርኝት እንዲኖረው ያደርጋሉ፡፡

 

በዘርፋ በተደረገ ጥናት ሊታወቅ የቻውም በወሲብ ሱሰኝነት ተጠቂ ከሚሆኑት ሰዎችመካከል ከግማሽ በላይ በልጅነታቸው ወቅት ወሲብን መፈጸም የጀመሩ አሊያም ወሲባዊጥቃት የደረሰባቸው መሆኑን ነው፡፡

 

ከዚህም ጋር በተያያዘ በመጀመሪያው የወሲብ ግንኙነታቸው ወቅት የአስገድዶ መደፈር ሰለባየሆኑ ሴቶች በቀሪው ወሲባዊ ህይወታቸው ሁለት ዓይነት አማራጮችን ሊከተሉ ይችላሉ፡፡አንደኛው ለወሲብ ከፍተኛ የሆነ ጥላቻን ማዳበር እና ምንም ዓይነት ደስታ እንደማይገኝበት አምነው መቀበል ሲሆን ፣ ሌላኛው ደግሞ ከፍተኛ የሆነየወሲብ ፍላጎት ማዳበር ውስጣዊ ጠባሳን የበለጠ ወሲብ በመፈጸም ለመሸፋፈን መሞከር ነው፡፡ እነዚህም ሴቶች ወሲባዊ ስሜታቸውን ለማርካታበሚል ብቻ ምንም አይነት ውስጣዊ መተዋወቅ እና መግባባት በሌለበት ሁኔታ ውስጥ ወሲብን መፈፀም ቀላል ነው የሚሆንላቸው፡፡ በዚህምባሕሪያቸው የተነሣ እውነተኛ የሆነ ፍቅር ከፊታቸው ሆኖ በሚገኝበት ሁኔታ ውስጥ ለመሰብሰብ ፍላጎቱ ቢኖራቸውም እንኳ በአካላዊ ስሜት ብቻበመገፋፋት በሚኖራቸው ወሲባዊ ህይወት የፍቅር ሕይወታቸው የተበላሸ መሆኑ አይቀርም፡፡

 

በተጨማሪም በአንዳንድ ሁኔታዎች ከልክ በላይ የሆነ ወሲባዊ እንቅስቃሴ ለራሳችን የሚኖረንን አመለካከት እና የበታችነት ስሜት ሊያንፀባርቅይችላል፡፡ የወሲብ ስሜት ከስጦታዎች አንዱ ሲሆን፣ በዚህም ድርጊት ከሚገኘው የደስታ እና የእርካታ ስሜት ባሻገር ተፈጥሮን ለመቀጠል እና በጊዜየተገደበውን የሰው ልጅ ሕይወት መቀጠያ ታላቅ ጥበብ ነው፡፡ በዚህም የተነሣ ይሄንን  የተሠጠንን ታላቅ ሥጦታ በአግባቡ መጠቀም ተገቢ ነው፡፡ይሄም ማለት በውስጣችን ያለውን ተፈጥሪአዊ ስሜት በቁጥጥራችን ሥር በማድረግ በተገቢው ቦታ፣ በተገቢው ጊዜ፣ ከተገቢው ሰው ጋር ሆኖመጠቀም የተፈጥሮ ህግ ሥር የሚገኝ በመሆኑ ይህንን ተገንዝበን ትክክለኛ የሆነ የወሲብ ባሕሪይን በዕድሜያችንና ከምንኖርበት ማበረሰብ እና ከጊዜውጋር በማጣጣም ማስኬድ ጤናማነትን ይገልፃል፡፡

 

ምክንያቱም አርስቶትል እንደተናገረው የሰው ልጅ የመጨረሻ ፍላጎቱ ደስታን መጎናፀፍ እንደመሆኑ ይህንን ደስታ ቋሚ ለማድረግ ደግሞ ስሜታችንን፣ድርጊታችንና ፍላጎታችንን ከልክ ሳያልፍና ጉድለት ሳይኖርበት የተጠበቀ ማለትም መካከለኛ ወይንም ሚዛናዊ ማድረግ አለብን፡፡ በጣም የበዛም ሆነበጣም ያነሰ ነገር ጎጂ በመሆኑ ነገሮችን ሁሉ በሁለቱ መካከል ሚዛናችንን መጠበቅና ማመጣጠን መቻል አለብን፡፡

 

 

 

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